Where’s your heart?
Imam Siraj once narrated a hadith to us about how one can do good deeds their entire life and then do a single deed that displeases Allah before they die and that person will end up in the hellfire. Likewise, someone can do bad deeds their entire life and do a single thing that will please Allah before they die that will save them from hellfire. I figured that last deed would be a reflection of how one truly lived their life, where there heart had been all along–whether it was sincere… or diseased.
It was almost exactly a year ago that Imam Siraj told us about this hadith for a Ramadan prep lecture. It is in this Ramadan that I am reminded of it once again as I think about why I am not getting the most out of this blessed month. It is well known that the companions of the prophet (sws) used to spend the first 6 months after Ramadan working hard to make sure it was accepted, and the remaining 6 months on preparing for the following Ramadan.
In the same spirit, the past 6 months before this Ramadan, I tried to prep myself for this blessed month. However, in the last few days, something entertaining caught my attention for a week of near non-stop, early evening to late night distraction–a time that could have been used in ibadaat. How quickly I dropped the opportunity to excel in Ramadan, all for a lowly distraction. Where was my heart the past 6 months?
Bring me your sins
bring me your pride
I am the devil waiting by your side
strengthening your heart, cold and black
sitting on the Middle Path
advising you, always, to turn back.