Where’s your heart?

by annamchoudhry

Imam Siraj once narrated a hadith to us about how one can do good deeds their entire life and then do a single deed that displeases Allah before they die and that person will end up in the hellfire. Likewise, someone can do bad deeds their entire life and do a single thing that will please Allah before they die that will save them from hellfire. I figured that last deed would be a reflection of how one truly lived their life, where there heart had been all along–whether it was sincere… or diseased.

It was almost exactly a year ago that Imam Siraj told us about this hadith for a Ramadan prep lecture. It is in this Ramadan that I am reminded of it once again as I think about why I am not getting the most out of this blessed month. It is well known that the companions of the prophet (sws) used to spend the first 6 months after Ramadan working hard to make sure it was accepted, and the remaining 6 months on preparing for the following Ramadan.

In the same spirit, the past 6 months before this Ramadan, I tried to prep myself for this blessed month. However, in the last few days, something entertaining caught my attention for a week of near non-stop, early evening to late night distraction–a time that could have been used in ibadaat. How quickly I dropped the opportunity to excel in Ramadan, all for a lowly distraction. Where was my heart the past 6 months?

On Ikhlas & Perspective
Bring me your pride
bring me your sins
I am the tear that falls down your chin
and onto your lap, the lap that shakes
with fear and regret
as you reflect on your mistakes.

Bring me your sins
bring me your pride
I am the devil waiting by your side
strengthening your heart, cold and black
sitting on the Middle Path
advising you, always, to turn back.